I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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