I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
