Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
