VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
