White coat. Heels.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
