I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
