Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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