Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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