Your tits are I can't wait for
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He literally asked permission to hit on me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize