Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
