i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
sarcasm needs its own font
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
