5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
