have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize