I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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