i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
