my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
