YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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