I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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