party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
