Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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