My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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