What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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