im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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