She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
