He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize