I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
