went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my being single is dangerous.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
