i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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