Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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