how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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