I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
