i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
