It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
