youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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