plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
