im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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