i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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