nut hugger
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
