Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
