and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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