i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
