i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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