I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
