We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
