i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
