we have officially lost it.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
