You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
