If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
