I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
