He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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