Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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