I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
