therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
