that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
