I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
