I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
