Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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