I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
