she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
