If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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