So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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