so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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