i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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