is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who wears a wallet chain?!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
