i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
