Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
