I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize